Busting the ‘I am not good enough’ limiting belief
How many times have you told yourself “I can’t do it” or “I’m not
deserving” without even realizing it?
How many times have your negative beliefs stopped you from living
a life that you deserve?
Are you aware of your negative beliefs? Many times, most of us
aren’t even aware of what is stopping us from reaching our true
potential.
Over and over again we try and try and somehow what we want is
just out of reach.
Let’s begin to identify one of the thought patterns that maybe
limiting you without you realizing it.
The ‘I am not good enough’ belief.
We were all born the same way, as little people without a care in
the world. We didn’t know stress, we didn’t know fame or fortune,
and we didn’t know poverty or hardship.
These aspects of life were learned as we grew up and were
introduced into our surroundings.
The surroundings we were raised in contributes to the life style
we have because as we grew we learned different things that became
our beliefs.
Once you have kicked the ‘I am not good enough’ belief to the curb,
your life will begin to change because your actions and results
will be more in line with who you are - someone who IS good enough.
A belief is simply something we feel to be true on some level. We
form beliefs based on our interpretation of a situation - or the
meaning we place on a situation.
Here are some clues to help you determin if ‘I am not good enough’
is a limiting belief you may have:
- Do you ever feel ‘I am not good enough’ - even a little bit?
- Do you feel you are not enough when you make a mistake or fail?
- If you don’t live up to people’s expectations, do you feel like
you are not good enough?
- Procrastinating because you are putting off doing something that
you don’t think will be good enough when it is finished.
If you really felt you WERE good enough, would making a mistake
change your mind? Probably not.
To replace the limiting belief of ‘I am not good enough’ we can
look at the source of the belief and rewrite it.
Think back to a time when you were a little kid. Can you a remember
something that was said to you that lead you to belief you weren’t
good enough?
Maybe your parents, a teacher, or some other adult figure,
continuously reacted in a way that gave you the impression you
were not good enough.
- Did they always react in anger when you didn’t do what they
wanted?
- Were they disappointed when you were not able to achieve
something they wanted you to achieve?
- Did they criticize you for things you did (or didn’t do)?
How we interpret these constant reactions is how we form the
beliefs we have about ourselves.
Take a few minutes and think about a situation that you can recall
where your parents or another adult seemed to be telling you that
you were not good enough.
Were you yelled at for not cleaning your room? Did you forget to
take the trash out and got in trouble? Did you try your hardest on
a test and still only got a C?
Can you remember what thoughts or feelings you had at the time?
Now let address how these events could be interpreted differently.
Events don’t have any meaning until you give it a meaning. Each
event could have several different meanings than the one you gave
it.
It only has a meaning when we give it one.
The same goes for situations that happened when you were younger.
You only gave meaning to the behavior of someone else and
interpreted it in a way that didn’t serve you. All you know for sure
is what happened but the meaning behind it is something you added
to it.
Now take another few minutes and see if you can come up with
several other meanings for the situation. Here are a few:
- Maybe your mom was in a bad mood and was angry at herself and her
words were only describing what she was feeling about herself.
- Maybe your actions didn’t mean you weren’t good enough but
instead meant that the task was too much for someone so young.
- Maybe you did you best but the teacher put unrealistic
expectations on you.
- Maybe dad was made because you didn’t do something they way he
wanted, not because you are not good enough.
- Maybe you weren’t good enough to do certain things, but that
doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough as a person.
- Mom and dad are critical at times because they think that is the
best way to teach me.
Any one of these interpretations could be the meaning behind what
happened - your interpretation was just ONE meaning, not
necessarily THE meaning behind the events.
I am sure that the situation(s) you are thinking about could have
at least 6 different meanings behind it.
I am not trying to say that the things that happened to you as a
child didn’t matter, all I am saying is that they didn’t mean
anything except for what meaning you give them.
The meanings behind situations are not real, they are just what we
have decided to believe about it.
The thought “I am not good enough” has only ever existed in your
mind, you can’t see it, touch it, taste it, or hold it. It is just
a thought.
Sometimes we can feel that these beliefs are true, they feel like
they are real.
Past situations and events cannot make us feel anything - it is
only how we interpreted the situation at the time that makes us
feel like we are not good enough.
Situations don’t cause feelings - our meanings behind the situation
creates our feelings about it.
Take the rain for example, the fact that it is raining has no
meaning until you give it a meaning.
If it hasn’t rained in months and it starts to rain, the rain is
a good thing because the farmers crops are going to grow.
However, if it starts to rain on a outdoor picnic, then the rain
isn’t a good thing.
Is it really the rain that is making your feel bad? Or is it the
meaning you are placing on it?
So past situations and events had no meaning, they couldn’t have
made you feel like you were not good enough.
So what did cause you to feel that way?
You felt that way because it was the meaning you had already giving
to someone else’s behavior or to a situation.
Now go back to the situation - re-nact it in your mind, making it
as real as you can but this time use one of the other meanings for
your thoughts in the situation.
Be the same child in the situation but instead of thinking like you
are not good enough use one of the alternate meanings - maybe think
that your parents were putting unreasonable expectations on you at
that age.
How does it make you feel now?
Trying saying out loud “I am not good enough” Does it feel real or
do you no longer have an emotional reaction to the statement?
If it still feels real, or causes an emotional reaction within you,
then the belief is still there.
You can return back into the situation in your mind and re-enact the
situation - using the new meaning - over and over again as many
times as you need to until the words “I am not good enough” no
longer ring true within you.
When these words have no impact on you, you will have removed the
belief.
Any lack of self confidence might not go away totally because you
might have other beliefs that are causing you to feel that way.
Addressing all the beliefs that don’t serve you will totally
eliminate it.
If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.
